7 Reasons Why Moms Should NEVER Wear Their Hair Down (mom humor)

Okay mamas, time to get real. I am 4 months postpartum now and the hair loss is REAL. As I sit here, with lost hairs tickling the back of my neck… I thought it would be funny to give the top 7 reasons why moms should NEVER wear their hair down.

Reason #1 Why Mom’s Should Never Wear Their Hair Down: Postpartum Hair loss

Like I said, I am 4 months postpartum and HAIR LOSS is hitting hard. If my hair is down, you already know the floor will be covered in the pesky, stringy pieces. Even if my hair is in a tight bun or braids, I still find hairs on my shirt, pants, on the floor or even worse… in my nursing bra. DUN DUN DUN! So tickley and so uncomfortable. I literally raise one arm and automatically see 5 hairs dangling like spider webs off my shirt. This is not normal people. Or wait… yes it is. It’s #motherhood.

Reason #2: Grabby Baby Hands

Grabby baby hands… need I say more? I mean those things are insane. It’s like a magic super power all babies have. If anything is REMOTELY near just one tiny finger, you can forget about it. Pretty sure they are born with magnets in those little palms or something.

Just the other day, my lovely sister-in-law who was wearing adorable hoop earrings (yes you know where this is going) was snuggling baby Cameron when all the sudden WHAMMMM his grabby baby fingers had an IRON grip on her earring. And when I say IRON GRIP, I mean it. My sister-in-law and I jumped into action and quickly grabbed Cam’s hand so that he wouldn’t pull away. Slowly but surely I unlatched each tiny finger off of the golden hoop. PHEW. That could have been disastrous. 

But seriously. If you have your hair down and you are 5 feet from a baby, he or she will still somehow get it in their grabby little hands. And once you finally get that pincher off of your long locks, 10 hairs will go with it. So what’s the point? You’re already losing enough hair as it is #postpartumhairloss.

Reason #3 Why Mom’s Should Never Wear Their Hair Down: Who are We Trying to Impress?

Who are we trying to impress, mamas?

Your baby doesn’t care if your hair is down and looking lush. All they care about is if it tickles their faces and makes them giggle! Or if it can be grabbed…

You definitely don’t need to impress other people either. They understand. At least that’s what I tell myself. And the people you do hangout with are usually mamas anyways! And trust me, THEY UNDERSTAND and will have their hair up in a pony tail with you.

Reason #4: You’re a Chef!

Say, you showered. You are feeling good about yourself for the first time in about 2 months. You say to yourself, “Yes! Today is the day I can be beautiful and wear my lovely hair down.” Then it’s breakfast time. You find yourself in the kitchen inevitably. Two seconds later, your hair is up and you are cracking the eggs into the pan. Or whipping up some delicious Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins. Whoops. How did that even happen? The hair goes up before you can even think twice!

Now your hair is half crinkled because it was in a bun for an hour… so what’s the point in even wearing it down anymore? You pull it back up and think to yourself… “One day mamma, One day…”

Reason #5: Unwashed Hair

We all know you haven’t washed your hair in 4 days… we understand and totally support your slicked back bun. This is #momlife.

Reason #6: Cleaning

You clean non-stop. No one likes to do cleaning projects with their hair down… come on. You use your Mrs. Meyers and give all your might to scrub that toilet bowl clean. Then you sit back to look at the finished product, and wet hair whips across your face and sticks to your lips. No thank you. I will wear my hair up and forget about looking fresh when I’m cleaning. Like I said earlier, who are we trying to impress here, the toilet bowl?

Reason #7 Why Mom’s Should Never Wear Their Hair Down: The Baby Carrier

Have you tried putting a child into a carrier with your hair down? Nearly impossible. It gets all tangled and stuck everywhere. Plus its falling out simultaneously. And your baby is grabbing it. Everything is a fail at this point.

Hope you laughed at these top 7 reasons why moms should never wear their hair down. Just remember you are JUST AS BEAUTIFUL with that mamma hair up. Hair up or down, keep being the super mom you are, mamma. 

With Love,

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